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HUNTING LEGENDS AND ODDITIES
History of Hunting
People have been hunting for a long, long time, certainly since the Old Stone Age, about 40,000 BC. Of course the exact animals that are hunted are different in different places, depending on the environment. But the main hunting techniques did not change very much from the Stone Age right through the Middle Ages .
There were really two kinds of hunting. The older kind was hunting for survival, hunting for food. When people went hunting for food they didn't worry about being sporting, they just caught as many animals as they could in the easiest way. One way to catch birds, for instance, was to put sticky lime on the branches of a bush and then put seeds and things birds like to eat on the branches. When birds landed there they would get stuck and then people came and threw nets over them and caught them. Rabbits, squirrels, and other small animals were also usually caught in traps and snares or in nets.
The other kind of hunting was hunting for sport, as a sort of dangerous thrill. This kind of hunting was basically something rich people did to show that they were rich, like going on safari today. Sport hunting, after the Early Bronze Age when horses came to the Mediterranean, was mostly done on horseback, with bows and arrows or with spears and nets, and with dogs. You hunted deer, or boar (wild pigs). You did eat the meat after you killed it, but if all you wanted was dinner there were easier ways to go about it.
In West Asia, there was also a tradition of ritual lion hunting for the king. In Western Europe in the Middle Ages, kings kept whole forests for their own private hunting use: Fontainebleau in France or Sherwood Forest in England (of Robin Hood fame).
Less than seven percent of the U.S. population hunts. Hunting is permitted on 60 percent of U.S. wildlife refuges and in many national forests and state parks.
- When target practicing for an upcoming hunt, always shoot at life-size game targets to become familiar with the animal's size for judging distances. For example, if you plan to hunt deer, shoot at a deer-size target. If hunting for larger game, shoot at the larger life-size targets. You can purchase these life size targets commercially or simply make cardboard cutouts from large boxes and place them in front of a target backstop.
- When you jump a deer always stop where you are and kneel down. Unless the deer was a buck, it's probably not alone. Just keep your eyes open and stay in that spot for up to 20 minutes. The payoff is most likely right around the corner.
- Are the eyes looking dull on your deer mounts? Simply put a portion of Windex on a Qtip and wipe eyes off. This does a very good job on all eyes on taxidermy mounts.
- After washing your hunting clothes in unscented detergent and drying them, always place them in a sealed plastic bag until you will be wearing them.
- When hunting deer from a treestand , don't wait for the perfect shot. If you pass up a few good shots when the deer first appears, you may never get that "perfect" shot and the animal will wander off. Instead, as soon as an acceptable standing broadside shot is presented within your accuracy range, draw and shoot.
- Never dry fire your bow- it may cause permanent damage.
- If your anchor cords on your decoys continually get frayed or rotted, try using some of your old fly fishing line. These new hi-tech plastic coated lines will last almost forever.
- Don't just scout during the hunting season. Scout year round; get to know your deers habitat.
- Want to make tight holding pheasants a little more likely to fly? Get a hawk call and blow it periodically. This will cause the pheasants to get nervous and maybe bust out in flight more readily.
- If a big buck spots you at your stand site, relocate that stand to a new spot at your earliest opportunity. Mature deer often will avoid spots where they've had a previous bad experience.
- With all the effort to eliminate human scent while deer hunting, don't forget your breath. Avoid tobacco products, candies, alcohol, or strong odor foods. A cheap, effective mouthwash can be made using two tablespoons of baking soda to a quart of water. Gargle well at your vehicle before heading to your stand. Complete the odor elimination process!
- Skinned your deer but find that there is a fair amount of hairs stuck on the meat? No problem simply use a small torch and singe them off much the way you would singe waterfowl.
The earliest known attempt to hunt a fox with hounds was in Norfolk England in 1534, where a farmer used his dogs in an attempt to catch a fox.
By the late 19th century foxhunting was probably at it's most popular. This is thought to be as a result of railways giving access to the Shires for people who would otherwise be stuck in the towns. The rising middle-classes who wished to improve their social standing ensured that hunting became further expanded.
It is said that during the late 19th century a shortage of foxes in England forced hunts to import foxes from France, Germany and Holland.
Infact, the Swedish Red Fox, which was known to be a larger animal than the one found in Britain, has been introduced to Britain to create the more substantial "European Red Fox" that we see in England's countryside today.
Hunting Pinks: The Red coats worn by hunting officials are often called Scarlets or "Pinks". It is thought that the term "Hunting Pinks" refers to a London tailor named Pink who bought large quantities of material after the American War of Independance in 1783 and became popular for hunting attire.
Humane Hunting with Dogs: Draghunting (following a man made scent) began in the 17th Century and has become more popular over the past 30 years.
- At a Texas police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousin shot him. Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when mah cousin Billy Bob picked up his shotgun and said, Hey, y'all wanna go hunting? Well ah stood up and said, Sure, I'm game.”
- A man and his friend were enjoying Deer Hunting Season in rural Alabama near a blacktop highway. A huge buck walked by and the hunter carefully drew his bow and took careful aim. Before he could release his arrow, his friend pointed at a funeral procession passing on the road below their stand. The hunter slowly let off the pressure on his bow, took off his hat, bowed his head and closed his eyes in prayer. His friend was amazed. "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are the kindest man I have ever known." The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."
- Three bucks are in a mountain meadow complaining. They've heard a rumor that a huge buck has entered their area, and they aren't happy about sharing any of their does. The Alpha buck says, "You know, since we settled our differences and split up the does, I've been pretty happy with MY 30 does. I am not about to share any of MY does with this new buck." The second toughest buck says, "Yeah, well I ended up with only 20 does, so I can't afford to share any of MY does." The youngest buck says, "I may only be half as big as you guys, but I'm not going to give up any of My 10 does." Suddenly the biggest, baddest buck they had ever seen appeared at the edge of the meadow. He must have weighed close to 375 pounds and with huge sweeping antlers. As the huge buck trotted towards the three other bucks the ground seemed to shake. Suddenly the former Alpha buck is a bit more flexible, "Well, maybe I could spare a FEW does." The second toughest buck says, "Maybe if I hide in the bushes, he'll leave me alone." But the small, young buck is snorting, raking the brush and shaking his fledgling antlers in an extremely confrontational way. Worried about the reckless youngster, the two older bucks trot over to the young buck and say, "Listen, son. It's not worth dying for. Just give the new buck your 10 does." "He can HAVE my 10 does," replies the young buck, raking the brush and shaking his fledgling antlers again. "I'm just making sure he knows I'm a BUCK!"
- A New York lawyer went duck hunting in rural South Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a rancher's cow pasture on the other side of a barbwire fence. As the New York lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly Texas rancher rode up on his horse and asked the lawyer what he was doing. The New York lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this pasture, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old Texas rancher replied. "Y'all, this is mah property and yer not coming over heah." The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers in New York City and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything that you own. The old rancher smiled and said, "Apparently, yew jus' ain't got any knowledge of how we do things down heah in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Texas Three Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three Kick Rule?" The Texas rancher replied, "Well sir, first ah kick yew three times and then yew kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until one of us gives up." The New York lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old rancher. He agreed to abide by the stated Texas custom. The old rancher slowly gets down from his horse and walked over to the New York City lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his pointed cowboy boot into the lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face. The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the old rancher's third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn't. The New York City lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old fart now it's my turn." The old rancher smiled and said, "Naw, ah gives up, Yew can keep that damn duck!"
- An old deer hunter named Bill, dressed head to foot in camo, went into a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the deer hunter and asked him, "Are you a real deer hunter?" To which he replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life in the woods, tracking deer, stalking deer and shooting deer, so yes, I guess I am a real deer hunter." After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, "I've never been in the woods. I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. I get up in the morning thinking of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV everything makes me think about women." A short while later she left, and the deer hunter ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real deer hunter?" The deer hunter replied, "Well I always thought I was a deer hunter, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."
- There's plenty of room for all Gods creatures, on your plate, right next to the mashed potatoes!
- "What kind of teeth do male deer have? Buck teeth."
- A young deer hunter was stalking through the brush when he came upon a very beautiful woman sunbathing in the nude. He quickly pointed his rifle at her and asked "Are you Game?" When she replied, "I sure am!" So he shot her!
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If you'll e-mail ol' Caddylak Maxy a short Huntin' joke, Huntin' one-liners, Huntin' legend or Huntin' facts he will make you Huntin' famous by giving you all the credit and will post it on this Hunting Legends and Oddities page! "That's if it ain't already listed!" -Says, Caddylak Maxy.
Sources: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and the Usual Gang of Idiots at Caddylak Graffix Cartoon Greeting Cards' Caption Writing Team Think Tank.
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Last Updated: Tuesday June 19, 2007 1:47 P.M.
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